After doing a fair bit of external and lets face it-internal research I've stumbled across the great Aspie taboo.......Sex and the intimate art of touch.
Yes you've heard it here straight from the horses mouth so to speak.
Many partners of Aspies complain about the lack of intimacy and touch, many express their frustration and confusion as to the wall that blocks thisimportant part of a marriage.
So often you hear " is it me ", or " there must be someone else.
A few years back i knew of a couple who seemed to get along famously both had great sense of humor, both worked and maintained a brilliant companionship within their marriage but had slipped into the friend zone instead of the partner zone. For over 10 years out of their 11 yr marriage they hadn't been intimate with eachother. Thus leading too the Mrs of the partnership to move into the spare room.
I remember asking her if she had tried to talk to him about how she felt but she said he just wouldn't see it. She thought maybe there might be something wrong medically so armed with all the information she set off to have a chat with her doctor.
Now the Dr from all accounts was a nice chap but to mind didn't really help her much, he suggested that maybe Mr could join them for an appointment too rule out anything medical,, but maybe in the meantime if she alter her appearance and took some more pride in herself maybe that could make a difference to how her husband saw her. In his opinion he felt that anyone who hadn't had sex in 10 yrs was obviously cheating or "looking after himself". So now full of resentment and crushed self esteem off she toddled back home to her partner.
Suspicions began to arise and she even asked him on a few occasions if there was anyone else to which he firmly denied ( he was so angry that she would even accuse him of that).
When i caught up with her next i asked how everything was going she said " he had gone to the dr's to shut her up and everything seemed normal", so she was left feeling that he must have just lost interest in her.
This eventually destroyed their marriage and her self esteem.
I look back on this now with all that i have learned about the Aspie marriage, and so much fits
- Mr didn't like socializing outside of his safety zone
- He didn't like to eat or try anything new
- He had set routines as to how he spent his time and even down to what and how he ate his dinner
- He disliked touch and remained distant
- He had little emotional empathy as to why mrs could be upset or as to why it affected him.
Could he have been Aspie